God's Families International Adoption Services

Assessing Your Readiness

One of the most important aspects of your adoptive decision is assessing where you are, where you've been and where you're going. We've provided the following guide, complete with comments to assist you in your decision. This is for your personal use only.

 
 

Infertility

Q.: Do you feel resolution with any infertility issues?
A: We understand how difficult it can be with families struggling with infertility. Adoption, however, will not cure your loss. It is a beautiful way to build a family, but to thrive it must be built on a solid foundation, with any grief resolved. Without this healing, you run the risk of spreading your hurt to others.
Q: How has infertility/miscarriage/stillbirth made you feel? Changed or affected you? Your marriage? Friendships? Family?
A: We have found that everyone has been touched in some way or another by your experience. Life beyond infertility will not be better or worse. But different. By being sensitive to how you feel and how this has impacted your life (and other people's lives as well) is a great start to moving on with your dream of becoming a parent.
Q: Have you been able to express these emotions? How?
A: Everyone expresses emotion differently. It is important that you have constructive ways to express these feelings so you can move on with your life. One way is to consider a ceremony to remember or mourn your loss.
Q: Do you have a plan on how long you'll proceed/conclude if your goal is not met?
A: Even faith has a plan. It is important to know what your limitations will be and set realistic goals. Often a family exhausts themselves emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially in their pursuit of getting pregnant if they do not have a clear and specified goal in mind with infertility therapy.
Q: Are you willing to not have children if you can't conceive your own?
A: Tough question. We have found that the original desire of most families is to be a parent and share their life with a child and realize that biology and adoption are just different ways to grow their family. Simply put, biology is when the child is placed in the heart of the womb, and adoption is when the child is placed in the womb of the heart. This an important question that only you can answer.
 

Adoptionadopted boy from Guatemala

Q: If you don't feel ready for adoption, is there a time in the future you'd feel ready to consider it?
A: Everyone comes to a place of making a decision differently. That's why some people date for 7 years before marriage and others date for 3 months. We encourage you to seek counsel and learn as much as you can to assist you in your decision.
Q: If you are married, have you and your spouse thoroughly discussed and are in full agreement on proceeding with adoption?
A: It is important that a couple honestly evaluate their marital commitment to adoption before moving ahead with adoption. Children need this commitment and benefit of both parents and parents will need the benefit and support of each other as well.
Q: If you are single, what are your biggest concerns?
A: We truly admire the single parent in adoption. They are often focused, organized and determined in their goal to build their family. As they will be the sole parent, it is important for them to have a strong support system, including parents, brothers, sisters, and friends to offer assistance and encouragement when needed.
Q: Have you ever been personally exposed to an adoptive person & family?
A: There has always been a lack of visible role models and mentors for families concerning adoption, which leaves families new to the experience to wonder what's it like. Expectations can play a part with your satisfaction of adopting. We suggest you seek out a least one role model to broaden your perspective.
Q: What are some reasons why you want to adopt?
A: There are many good reasons that move us to adopt children, including helping a child in need, providing siblings to existing children to having the ability to help one more child. Wanting to be a parent to a child, to give and receive love is the most important element that will sustain your family.
Q: What would be the ideal size family?
A: This is an very individual question. It is important to understand your feelings, thoughts and desires before moving on. Because sibling groups are sometimes made available on short notice, it's always a good idea to understand how big you ultimately want your family to be.
Q: How do your existing children feel about a new sibling?
A: Adding a new child, whether by birth or adoption, is always an adjustment for existing children in any home. This change is important for all family members to acknowledge and prepare for.
Q: What are the biggest advantages of adopting a child?
A: There are obviously many advantages to why people adopt children. The best one we've heard is because children and parents belong together in families.
Q: What are the greatest concerns of adopting a child internationally?
A: We usually find most parents are most anxious about health and developmental issues. God's Families takes a pro-education stance with these issues and will expose and educate parents to specific international adoption issues and experts, in addition to all available information on a child.
Q: What do you think will be the most satisfying thing about adopting a child into your family?
A: Being a mom or dad! You fill in the rest!